please read this, i know it’s long, but it’s really important.
Hello, I’m a 17-years-old girl who lives in Ashdod, Israel, which is dealing with an attack. I wanted to try and let you see a day in life from another perspective. From a perspective of fear, panic attacks and a rocket hitting my home.
Today, Saturday, 17/11/2012.
In the middle of a wide military-operation, due to unexplained aggression towards Israel.
Like every day lately, an alarm, stress, running to the shelter with the rest of the neighbors, clinging on to each other and praying… “Please don’t let it hit here”. The alarm has come to its end, and now we’re waiting for the rocket to just hit and we could get back to the tranquility we deserve (until the next alarm hits us). We’re hearing the booms quite far, and then it comes. The building shakes.
I’m pushed back from the recoil, and looking around me I understand everyone else is too. Everyone’s in shock, not speaking even a word, looking at each other and understanding – the rocket hit the building.
In just few seconds, we can already here the sirens of ambulances and police cars. Several minutes pass until from the stairs paramedics are coming, sitting us in chairs and handing us water to drink.
They ask questions like “Is everything okay? Does something hurt? Can you speak? What is your name. please?”, and in addition ask logical questions to see if I’m not panic-attacked, “Where do you live? What is the date today?” etc.
The test was successful and so I was not diagnosed as panic-attacked. My floor is all right, there are none physically or mentally hurt. On the first few floors, though, it is imported that there are 10 panic-attacked people, and 5 people who are lightly hurt. It hurts hearing it, and it breaks my heart. I’m still in shock. Even though I’m not diagnosed as panic-attacked, I can’t speak. My heart beats so fast and I just can’t believe the rocket hit my house.
To some of the neighbors, it ruined the apartment. The kids are shocked and can’t stop crying. They lost their home.
We’re tested again and they don’t let us out because the third floor is ruined and it is very dangerous and appalling to walk through it.
Phones are starting to ring. What am I supposed to say to my family so that they won’t panic?
Few seconds later, another alarm. This time, the paramedics and the police officers are with us and they are calming us and protecting us.
There are none who are physically or mentally hurt this time.
Who am I kidding? There are people who are hurt. Our soul is so sabotaged that we can’t even put into words the big, wide hole. A whole which can not be fixed or covered.
How can one live from one alarm to another? How can one live in this fright?
I want to live in MY country peacefully. I want to hang out with my friends without the fear of an alarm catching us with nowhere to hide in order to save our lives. Why can’t I?
The answer is obvious: hate. Reasonless hate.
I want to live in peace.